Well the day arrived and we were due to go round and meet A at 3pm on a Monday. We were really excited and also incredibly nervous, excitement because we were finally going to meet our son for the first time and also nervous as we had no idea how he was going to take us or even accept or like us !
On the adoption course you are told that it can take up to a few months for the children to accept you and to not expect them to call you mum and dad straight away as this can take time, which of course we totally understood.
We decided to go out for lunch as the thought of staying home all day watching the clock ticking would drive us mad so off to Boston Tea Party we went. This coffee shop ended up being a our place throughout our adoption process, it was where we went to celebrate officially adopting A and the first place we took him for tea and cake.
3pm came and we drove to the address of where A lived and rang the door bell S and B answered the door we had met them previously and they were a lovely old couple who had dedicated the last 20 years of there life to fostering vulnerable children, even though they both suffered with poor health and both used mobility scooters they had cared for A for the last year and to them we owe such a lot.
They shouted to A to come to the door as his new mummy and daddy had come to see him (just typing this now is making me feel emotional) he ran up to us with his arms open wide shouting “Mummy Daddy” and gave us a huge hug. You could of knocked us over we weren’t expecting that welcome we then went in for a cup of tea.
The sun was shining so we all sat in the garden, A showed us his garden and his bike and ball and was playing while we sat talking to S and B. We discussed with them both how the introduction had gone when they has showed him our book and played our dvd. They said he loved the book and took it to be every night, he talked about the cat and the dog and was really excited about our garden and trampoline. He also loved the dvd and asked to have it played over and over again (we apologised for our bad acting !) Through this dvd he got to see what we looked like and had learnt all of our names, he could also see what his bedroom looked like, we had heard that he liked Thomas so we got a Thomas duvet and pyjamas.
We chatted to A asked him what he liked playing and he let Matthew push him on his push along bike, we could see he had a really strong bond with S which was lovely to see, but you also have the guilt because effectively you are going to take that bond away when they have done so much to help, support and develop A and also ensure that he was ready to meet us and accept us as wonderfully as he had done.
Initial meetings are only supposed to be a couple of hours long so we left after arranging to come over the next day to make his tea, bath him and put him to bed in their house and went home.
We then came home, we were probably in a state of shock, i don’t know how to describe how we were feeling, relieved that it went so well, happy that he had accepted us and also overwhelmed that this little boy that we had never met before had given his heart over to us 100%.
For Matthew this he found difficult, after being rejected by his own daughters for a number of years and not having the chance to be a dad for such a long time, he was now being given the chance of being a dad again and whilst he was so happy, it also brought back all the heartache the last 5 years had given him.
We went to be exhausted ready for the next meeting.